By: Lindsey Janssen and Christ Pulos
We look forward to it every week, there are countless memes dedicated to its existence, and we even had a night of television dedicated to it in the 90s. That’s right, it is Friday! What better way to celebrate than to be able to dress casual at your otherwise boring, slack wearing, suit buttoning, hair in a bun, desk job.
1. We have all seen them on someone and thought “huh, that doesn’t look good” or “huh, those are see-through.” It is our numero uno faux pas, the dreaded black legging. The problem with the legging is that it is always being worn in conjunction with some animal print underwear or other obscure undergarment. To be honest, the problems with these leggings are endless and no one has time to list them. There is a time for these leggings and that time includes the following:
- You are at home alone.
- You have a sweater or shirt on that covers your bum.
- You are going to Wal-Mart, just kidding.
- You want to get written up for violating dress code and visually harassing the entire office.
2. The flip-flop heel. I wish we did not have to list this at all. Mostly because I wish these did not exist. The flip-flop heel is usually found on the 40 something lady in your office trying to keep her youth alive. It is usually accompanied by some sort of rhinestone or flower accents. Our advice:
- Return the heels.
- Burn them.
- Throw them away.
- Question why you bought these in the first place.
3. Mesh/net shirts or pantyhose are absolutely banned at the office. There should never be a morning in which you are getting dressed at 6:30AM and you think to yourself “you know what would look great with these casual Friday jeans? A nice neon mesh shirt.” In fact, the only acceptable time to wear mesh must fall under one of these circumstances:
- It is Halloween.
- You are attending a theme party.
- You are a drag queen.
- You are Hannah Horvath from Girls and you are high on cocaine with your gay husband.
4. It is casual Friday so of course you want to drop off your slacks at the dry cleaner and slip some denim over your derriere. I am sure you have seen it sauntering through the halls of your office, those dreaded mom jeans. Are you unsure if your jeans are of the mom persuasion? Here are a couple of signs that you may need to trade in your Prius for a minivan:
- They fall right between acid washed and some variation of acceptable blue color.
- They fall between your belly button and your bra.
- They cause a little bit of confusion from where your thigh ends and your butt begins, aka “buthigh”.
5. The repeat offender. We know you have more than one work-appropriate shirt and jeans combo, so do not wear the same outfit every Friday like Susie from accounting. Change it up. Maybe pair the shirt you wore three weeks ago to that board meeting with your non-mom jeans. You can do it! We know you can. It is Friday and of course we want you to unbutton the top button of your Oxford shirt and let your hair down, but just remember you’re in public and most importantly, still at work.
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